Throwing Pies: Mary-Louise Parker is one of our favorite people…and apparently an accomplished drunken pastry chef. [Esquire]

Condolences are In Order: Ladies and Gentlemen, Gisele is off the market for real. And this Brady character sounds highly suspect. [People]

Individualism: ACL unearths yet another quality domestic shirt-maker. [A Continuous Lean]

Keeping an Eye Out: The Times catches on to our favorite opticians, thanks to a few well-selected collabs. Congrats, fellows. [The Moment]

—R.B.

Dita Von Teese is following in the illustrious footsteps of Zooey Deschanel and Scarlett Johansson, and recording her own album, ominously titled “Manson, Pasties and Milky Skin.”

Of course, Ms. Von Teese came up through the burlesque circuit, so we imagine she knows her way around a tune…and can inspire any number of Brill Building types if her inspiration runs dry. We doubt she’ll have any trouble putting it together.

But with a title like that, we’re mostly looking forward to the videos.

—R.B.

Naturally, versatility can be a mixed blessing, but if you’ve got the right tailor on board things tend to turn out ok. And it’s hard to make bike clothes uglier than they are already…

Rapha Performance Roadwear recently commissioned traveling tailor Timothy Everest to make a suit designed for bicycling, and the result is surprisingly palatable. The jacket’s lower flaps can be fastened to the pockets to keep them from flapping, and an extra length of sleeve can be rolled down to keep the wrists covered when the rider leans over the handlebars. Best of all, the pattern is a simple gray check that won’t announce itself too loudly. (Don’t be fooled by the zebra stripes; that’s just the camera).

Think of it as just one more example: tailors can do anything if they put their minds to it.

—R.B.

Much as we love the sneaker/oxford crossover, it’s important to do it in the right way. Otherwise you end up with…well, this.

Heyday Footwear has been pushing a “wingtip-inspired sneaker” called the Winger, and it’s a sign of what happens when the crossover goes awry. Instead of taking the classic wingtip form and giving it a some of the pop glossiness of a sneaker, Heyday just makes the shoe softer, squishier, and less useful.

The result is the worst of both worlds. Too casual for suits and too stilted for jeans, this is a good idea gone bad.

—R.B.

If you felt compelled to replicate this gentleman’s vintage blazer…we may have something for you.

This boating blazer from Paul Smith is a good deal more traditional than the punkish pink-on-black, but the overall effect is remarkably similar. In fact, it’s so traddish that Smith forgoes his usual slanted pockets except for the chest slit.

Something tells us it would go well with a straw hat.

—R.B.