Who else has seen their sex life disappear after tying the knot? If you are anything like the vast majority of men who have become the punchline of the “what happened to sex after marriage” joke…..you’re probably finding that getting laid after saying “I do” ain’t all it’s cracked up to be right?
It’s true…and many JFM readers are amongst the many men who are finding having sex, POST white picket fence is far from fun! ( or maybe it’s still fun…it just isn’t happening nearly often enough!)
Here is a good article if you’re in that group…with some good, simple, ( and sensible) tips for any man who wants to spice things up with his spouse. Check out the full article at the link after the jump – and don’t forget to stop back by and leave us your comments!
The Reality of Married LovemakingWhen writer Miriam Arond and her husband, psychiatrist Samuel L. Pauker, M.D., surveyed hundreds of newlywed couples across the nation, they discovered that 85 percent had made love before tying the knot, yet the frequency and quality of unmarried sex had little to do with the reality of married lovemaking. Nearly half said that after marriage, they didn’t have sex as often as they’d like; 20 percent of new wives reported low sexual desire. For a fourth of the wives, sex meant painful intercourse or elusive orgasms, while 1 in 10 husbands experienced premature ejaculation, and 1 in 20 had erection problems.
What ever happened to athletic, swinging-from-the-chandeliers, “did-the-earth-move-for-you-too?” prenuptial lovemaking? The deep, mystical, Tantric communing of two spirits? Hours of Hollywood sex complete with mood music, flickering candlelight, and satin sheets?
Sex Guide for Newlyweds: Balancing a sense of intimacy and safety and security with a sense of unpredictability.”The excitement of getting married gives couples a hit of dopamine — a feel-good brain chemical that increases sex drive. For a few months after marriage, things may stay hot,” says marriage and sex therapist Pat Love, Ed.D. “And while you still love each other and feel passionate about each other, the dopamine does settle down. You’re back to real life. Your normal sex-drive set point kicks back in. Your expectations about married sex take over. It’s the perfect time to do the delicious work of deepening your sexual bond.
“”The challenge for couples is balancing a sense of intimacy and safety and security with a sense of unpredictability and creativity and eroticism,” says Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., a psychology professor at American University in Washington, D.C. “When sexual intimacy is strong, making love plays a healthy 15 to 20 percent role in energizing your marriage. The paradox is that when sex is problematic, it plays an inordinately powerful, negative role in new marriages.”Understanding the real sexual issues that newlyweds face can help you keep sex fun and fulfilling — now and for the rest of your lives. Experts say these hidden concerns can cool the hottest love life in the early days of marriage:
The Ultimate Sex Guide for Newlyweds: The Reality of Married Lovemaking | Marriage | Reader’s Digest
