Archive for May, 2009
Here is a pretty funny article about 40 mistakes men make in bed…..and the sort of unfortunate side effects that happen when you screw up in the sack!
Don’t think you make any of these? Think again! Most of us have made at least ONE of these sex “sins” at one time or another…..and if you ask my girlfriends from days gone by, I’ve made at least half that I can remember ( and probably the other half that I can’t..:-)
Check out the full story after the jump – and let us know some of the worst “sins” you’ve made in the sack….and how they’ve come back to bit you in the ass! ( no pun intended..:-)
1) NOT KISSING FIRST. Avoiding her lips and diving straight for the erogenous zones makes herfeel like you’re paying by the hour and trying to get your money’s worth bycutting out nonessentials. A proper passionate kiss is the ultimate form offoreplay.
2) BLOWING TOO HARD IN HER EAR. Admit it, some kid at school told you girls love this. Well, there’s adifference between being erotic and blowing as if you’re trying toextinguishthe candles on your 50th birthday cake. That hurts.
3) NOT SHAVING. You often forget you have a porcupine strapped to your chin which yourakerepeatedly across your partner’s face and thighs. When she turns her headfrom side to side, it’s not passion, it’s avoidance.
4) SQUEEZING HER BREAST. Most men act like a housewife testing a melon for ripeness when theygettheir hand on a pair. Stroke, caress, and smooth them. 5) BITING HER NIPPLES. Why do men fasten onto a woman’s nipples, then clamp down like they’retrying to deflate her body via her breasts? Nipples are highly sensitive. They can’t stand up to chewing. Lick and suck them gently. Flicking yourtongue across them is good. Pretending they’re a doggie toy isn’t.
6) TWIDDLING HER NIPPLES. Stop doing that thing where you twiddle the nipples between finger andthumb like you’re trying to find a radio station in a hilly area. Focus onthe whole breasts, not just the exclamation points.
7) IGNORING THE OTHER PARTS OF HER BODY. A woman is not a highway with just three turnoffs: Breastville East andWest, and the Midtown Tunnel. There are vast areas of her body which you’veignored far too often as you go bombing straight into downtown Vagina. Sostart paying them some attention.
GETTING THE HAND TRAPPED. Poor manual dexterity in the underskirt region can result in tangledfingers and underpants. If you’re going to be that aggressive, just askherto take the damn things off.
Who else has seen their sex life disappear after tying the knot? If you are anything like the vast majority of men who have become the punchline of the “what happened to sex after marriage” joke…..you’re probably finding that getting laid after saying “I do” ain’t all it’s cracked up to be right?
It’s true…and many JFM readers are amongst the many men who are finding having sex, POST white picket fence is far from fun! ( or maybe it’s still fun…it just isn’t happening nearly often enough!)
Here is a good article if you’re in that group…with some good, simple, ( and sensible) tips for any man who wants to spice things up with his spouse. Check out the full article at the link after the jump – and don’t forget to stop back by and leave us your comments!
The Reality of Married LovemakingWhen writer Miriam Arond and her husband, psychiatrist Samuel L. Pauker, M.D., surveyed hundreds of newlywed couples across the nation, they discovered that 85 percent had made love before tying the knot, yet the frequency and quality of unmarried sex had little to do with the reality of married lovemaking. Nearly half said that after marriage, they didn’t have sex as often as they’d like; 20 percent of new wives reported low sexual desire. For a fourth of the wives, sex meant painful intercourse or elusive orgasms, while 1 in 10 husbands experienced premature ejaculation, and 1 in 20 had erection problems.
What ever happened to athletic, swinging-from-the-chandeliers, “did-the-earth-move-for-you-too?” prenuptial lovemaking? The deep, mystical, Tantric communing of two spirits? Hours of Hollywood sex complete with mood music, flickering candlelight, and satin sheets?
Sex Guide for Newlyweds: Balancing a sense of intimacy and safety and security with a sense of unpredictability.”The excitement of getting married gives couples a hit of dopamine — a feel-good brain chemical that increases sex drive. For a few months after marriage, things may stay hot,” says marriage and sex therapist Pat Love, Ed.D. “And while you still love each other and feel passionate about each other, the dopamine does settle down. You’re back to real life. Your normal sex-drive set point kicks back in. Your expectations about married sex take over. It’s the perfect time to do the delicious work of deepening your sexual bond.
“”The challenge for couples is balancing a sense of intimacy and safety and security with a sense of unpredictability and creativity and eroticism,” says Barry McCarthy, Ph.D., a psychology professor at American University in Washington, D.C. “When sexual intimacy is strong, making love plays a healthy 15 to 20 percent role in energizing your marriage. The paradox is that when sex is problematic, it plays an inordinately powerful, negative role in new marriages.”Understanding the real sexual issues that newlyweds face can help you keep sex fun and fulfilling — now and for the rest of your lives. Experts say these hidden concerns can cool the hottest love life in the early days of marriage:
The Ultimate Sex Guide for Newlyweds: The Reality of Married Lovemaking | Marriage | Reader’s Digest
Only for JfM Readers getting a little LONG in the tooth..:-)
Funny little “quiz” that will tell you just how much of a P**sy you REALLY are……even if you think you’re still pretty hip.
I mean – a few of these are no brainers, right? But for some of us….the lure of the couch, some wings and NBA playoffs is a bit stronger these days than getting some digits at the Mojito bar down the street.
See where you fall on the getting TOO old to be hip quiz below:
You’re at a bar and your friend buys a round of tequila shots. You…(1) Down your shot, then your friend’s shot, then order another round.(2) Down your shot, thank your friend, and retire home for the evening.(3) Turn down the shot – you have work tomorrow.(4) This entire scenario is unrealistic – bars? What is this, college?
Your friends are camping out for concert tickets.
You…(1) Get a keg and a tent — you’re in.(2) Give them money and ask them to buy you a ticket(3) Pass — can you believe the crap those kids are listening to these days.(4) The music’s too loud, parking is a pain, and everyone’s on drugs. No, thanks.
Your friends are at the beach throwing the football around. You…(1) Organize a tackle football game – straight out of the Abercrombie catalog. But straight.(2) Just throw the ball around nice and soft — while enjoying the sun’s rays.(3) Don’t throw the ball at all — that’s a good way to get your trick shoulder worked up again.(4) Don’t go to the beach because sand gets in places you don’t want sand to be, and the sun is a big blaring ball of potential Melanoma beating down on you.
You’re house sitting in your friend’s ridiculous mansion. You…(1) Throw a house party that will make Kid N’ Play’s hair fall out.(2) Invite a small group of friends over for a dinner party.(3) You have a date with his comfortable couch, a glass of Chianti, and the latest Clive Clussler.(4) You leave early because you’re old and depressed and it’s strikingly clear you’ll never be able to afford a house of similar size.
You get a girls’ number. You…(1) Call her that night for a booty call.(2) Wait the allotted 3 days and ask her out for coffee.(3) Wait the allotted 3 days to call and plan a dinner.(4) Don’t call because phones are too confusing.
Or…..simply boring her to tears?
Here is a really good article below from WebMd on things that men commonly do wrong between the sheets, and the common misconceptions that we make in thinking we KNOW what women want in the sack?
Any of this sound familar to you? I know I’m guilty of a few of these things…..and I’ve only managed to read the first 3..;-)
( Hey – only so much depression I can handle on a Friday night home alone with nothing but CNN to keep me company)
Check out the full story at the link below – and learn how to take YOUR game up a notch or two…and keep your girl coming back for more. ( no pun intended..;-)
That’s because — after learning the facts of life — most of us are left to figure out sex for ourselves. Guys tend to take a lot of cues from adult movies, and we all know how true-to-life those are. Experience may help, but many women can be shy when talking about what they like.
To help us with some sex tips, WebMD asked two acclaimed sex educators, Tristan Taormino and Lou Paget, to tell us what they think are the most common sex mistakes men make with women.Taormino is a prolific author, lecturer, and video producer. Her latest project is the Expert Guide educational video series from Vivid Ed.Paget is author of The Great Lover Playbook and other sex manuals, and she gives seminars nationwide.
Sex Mistake No.1: You Know What She WantsMen often make assumptions about what a woman wants based upon what they’ve done with other women. But women aren’t all the same.”You develop a repertoire as you mature sexually, but you should never assume that what worked for the last person is going to work for this person,” Taormino says.That applies not only to sexual predilections, but also to relationships, she says. “There are women who can have no-strings-attached sex, and women who can get attached very easily, and then everyone in between.”
Sex Mistake No. 2: You Have All She NeedsSome women can’t have an orgasm with less than 3,000 rpm. No human tongue or fingers can generate that kind of vibration. But men typically think something is wrong if a woman needs a vibrator.”If the only way that a woman can achieve orgasm is with a vibrator, she’s not broken,” Taormino says.Think of a vibrator as your assistant, not your substitute. Many couples use vibrators together. “While you’re doing one thing, or two things, the vibrator can be doing something else,” Taormino says.